The Dilemma

1)  Speak my mind, 2) Don’t speak my mind.

Anyone that knew me from college onwards knows that I talk a lot when I become passionate about things, usually things I dreamt, thought about, or had a day dream about.  I view the world from my own perspective so I’m usually in disagreement with the way it works, which can get me in trouble.  Now after years of being wary and getting nowhere fast, I’m about ready to just cast the chains aside and go for life in the wind. 

The dilemma I’m faced with is what I listed above, do I silence who I am for the sake of paths that might only lead me back around, or do I express myself and forge my own destiny, which would be uncertain, rocky, hard work, but in my control.  Personally I don’t like the thought of being out of control, but I’m tired of a life where I’m losing my productive years to time.  People think I’m lazy, but they don’t realize how much I want to break free and achieve something with my own hands.  Perhaps it’s time to throw off the gloves and let go of a world I don’t believe in to create a future I can appreciate. 

For the past seven years after college I have wrestled with all types of different paths, but it never changed one thing:  I like to write.  Not only do I enjoy the process, but I like the feedback from people that have read what I’ve written and the profits I started to accumulate from projects that turned out well.  It’s definitely a difficult and typically impossible path for most people, but I have accumulated so many ideas, stories, and real life experiences, my creative pool will never dry up.  Of course there have been ups and downs, and certainly times where I had doubt, but I always turn around and want to go back.  I have no idea why I’m letting myself be pulled away, except it’s logic versus emotion, and I’ve always followed logic… just this time I don’t.

Since 2008 I’ve been writing off and on at a site call Helium.com.  I have ‘published’ over 1,100 articles, stories, poems, and other pieces of factual, reflective, and creative works there.  I’ve had several articles published in magazines in 2009 and enjoyed the process.  The link to my articles is http://www.helium.com/users/458692/show_articles and contains all sorts of poems and other things that satisfied my creative output. 

I’ve also worked on blogs that tried to provide a niche content, but never evolved far because I couldn’t hold to a specific theme for a long time, since my mind is always changing thoughts and ideas.  Other projects include solutions I’ve submitted to Innocentive.com, and my own website (that last all of 6 months).  I want to try ebooks, but I’m not certain I can come up with an engaging story without the length of details I typically put in, but I’d like to try.  My typical story genre is science fiction and supernatural settings. 

As I write, new technology and ideas flow to me naturally, like they were always there, so it’s a great way to brainstorm even if it’s only working on an idea.  In time I want to expand my outlets to include all kinds of writing projects as well as problem solving sections to help myself and help this world at the same time.  Look forward to more news as I go along. 

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